Is our desire for simplicity causing more harm than good?
For the last few years I’ve been working in affordable housing and homelessness in NZ. For anyone familiar with these issues in New Zealand you will be aware that the challenges we face which are arguably the result of some 30-40 years of political decisions and economic pressure. I’m often amazed in conversations with people just how sure they are that they have a solution to this problem. Like they have found a silver bullet which will fix all the issues. Unfortunately, such a solution doesn’t exist. It exposes an overly simplistic approach to what is a complex problem.
The desire to simplify life is built into us. The reason we all have biases is to make life simpler. We are biased to use a specific hand to throw a ball, or a spear, so that in our hunter gather days we didn’t have to think about which hand to pick up the spear and throw with when faced by a wild animal. As just one example a bias in our hand use saves cognitive burden. However, over simplifying life has a negative impact as well.
When we attempt to overly simplify, we’re left viewing the world as black and white or right and wrong. Where there should be in the very least shades of grey or even an opportunity for multiple positions to be held at the same time. When we apply a black and white way of thinking to more complex issues, we end up seeing issues as a matter of us vs them, our position vs every other position.
The most obviously example of this is political opinions, I think a policy should be such and such and everyone else is wrong. But it happens in many other scenarios as well, the workplace, parenting, social events, schooling etc. For example, according to me I might adopt the right way of parenting and anything contrary to that I could view as wrong. If we don't deal with this well, this leads to disagreements and arguments about how to parent with your partner. More broadly, this perspective on life causes tensions, on-going arguments, further entrenchment of opinions and diminished respect for each other.
But black and white, or overly simplified approaches to how something should be done limit us to seeing new opportunities or learning new perspective and ways of approaching situations. On the contrary, allowing the world to exist in all its complexity opens our eyes to see all the opportunities that exist between my current perspective and yours. All of a sudden we can start to explore the differences.
There are so many options and opportunities in a world where we allow the complexities to exist. And within those so much to disagree on, and, so much to agree on as well. For example we might agree that poverty is an issue that needs to be dealt with, but our economic approach to dealing with it is different. We might disagree on how to bring people to justice for certain crimes, but we agree the crime should not be committed in the first place.
In our conversations rather than having black and white perspectives, acknowledging our underlying points of agreement as a simple first step can significantly reduce the intensity of the conversation. It makes the conversation less of a them and us, or about me trying to convince you of my approach and allows us to embrace a nuanced way of dealing with problems. It allows creativity and the best of both.
The complexity of the world has a real impact on our relationships, but it also offers opportunities for growth and understanding. Rather than viewing things as black and white, let's allow ourselves the time to see things in all their complexity and not just reject ideas that are different from our own. By doing this, we can build more meaningful and respectful relationships with others and open ourselves up to new learnings and experiences.